At 82, I am still a works in progress. I am on a daily self-discovery journey to find myself, the real me. I have come to learn that in life, things do not happen to you; they happen for you. It is not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters. The moment we stop exploring and discovering who we are is the moment we die while still being alive. A fundamental ingredient that contributes immensely to our holistic development and quality of life is the virtue of trust.
Trust is a vital lifeline and a critical foundation of our lives. Without trust, there is no self-discovery nor collective growth. Without trust, we halt our ability to develop and nurture a healthier relationship with ourselves and others. Building trust is the daily action of embarking wholeheartedly on change and the state of being comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Most of us are good at evaluating the obvious. Those who are mindful in building trust with themselves and others will look beneath the surface and see what others do not see. They do what others will not do. Ask what others are afraid to ask. And give more than others are willing to give. These individuals possess the courage to look beyond the obvious.
New York Times bestselling author Iyanla Vanzant book Trust: Mastering the Four Essential Trusts: Trust in Self, Trust in God, Trust in Others, Trust in Life brilliantly captures the depth and complexities of trust. Iyanla Vanzant masterfully demonstrates “why the four essential trusts—Trust in Self, Trust in God, Trust in Others, and Trust in Life—are like oxygen: without them, none of us can survive. Mastering these four essential trusts requires both a process and a practice: Life gives you the process through your experiences; people provide you the opportunity to practice. This book’s pragmatic trust-building prescriptions demonstrate how communication, consistency, and cooperation can antidote trust-destroying behaviors and revitalize us with increased authenticity, greater resilience, and renewed peace in every part of our lives.”
In this era of “fake news,” trust and truth are more important than ever. Trust is the language of the soul. Overcome the temptation to compromise your truth for exterior validation or to make other people feel comfortable. You were born to be real, not perfect. When in doubt, trust your intuition while listening to the truth of your heart. Until we are courageous enough to venture beyond what is known, our comfort zones can become what we impose on ourselves and require of others. Not to keep us safe, but to ultimately keep us in control.
So do not be bound by the constraints of yesterday or tomorrow. Walk-in your truth while living in trust of yourself and humanity. I enthusiastically share with thirty-two lessons from Iyanla Vanzant’s book Trust: Mastering the Four Essential Trusts: Trust in Self, Trust in God, Trust in Others, Trust in Life that powerfully impacted my thinking, behavior, and actions. At 82, I too, am still learning, unlearning, relearning, and mastering these timeless gems on trust. As Iyanla Vanzant would passionately express, “Trust is not a verb. It’s a noun. Trust is a state of mind and a state of being.”
- Self trust is the development and mastery of unwavering, unquestionable inward conviction around your own value, worth and ability ti be, to create and to enjoy all that you desire in the process of living and learning more about yourself
- Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.
- We all have lessons to learn, weaknesses to overcome, strengths to develop, and temptations to avoid.
- Every day I have the options to make choices. The power to make choices, the ability to make choices.
- Some of what we are taught is reasonable and real, based on our own experiences. Some of what we are taught is false, faulty, and dysfunctional.
- Trust requires a willingness to admit what you do not know and to stand firm on what you do.
- Look within, taking yourself to places you have never dared to visit before.
- Connect with your inner voice daily.
- Life is a process with processes within the process, designed to make us stronger, wiser, more loving, and more trusting of life and ourselves.
- 10.No matter how old I am or how much I think I know, each day that I awake, I am like a newborn baby who trusts in life.
- 11.All the things I see and experience reflect the ideas I create in my mind.
- 12.Accept total responsibility for every choice you have made and will make.
- 13.Master the four essential trusts: Trust in Self, Trust In God, Trust in Others and Trust in Life.
- 14.Trust is the first task of our human ego. It grows from the need to be safe, to belong, and to survive. Learning to trust others and ourselves is something the ego continues to struggle with for our entire lifetime.
- 15.From birth to death, human beings seek attention, understanding, love, and respect.
- 16.Hate is a dark, dense energy that motivates you to behave in ways that not only harm others but also harm you. Hatred harms your spirit.
- 17.Develop the habit of speaking kindly to yourself about yourself.
- 18.A considerable part of your journey to self-trust will be learning how to deprogram yourself from all the misinformation that has hijacked your mind since childhood.
- 19.Feelings are the language through which your life speaks to you.
- 20.Make people earn your trust.
- 21.As long as you are comfortable, you are not growing.
- 22.Not only will the truth set you free, but it will also liberate your guilt, shame, and fear.
- 23.No matter where you travel on the road of life, trust and truth are what you must learn.
- 24.We find change very uncomfortable. When the difference is not to our liking, when it makes us uncomfortable, we look for something or someone to blame for it.
- 25.People show you who they are in what they do.
- 26.Never trust someone who lies to you. Never lie to someone who trusts you.
- 27.Trust requires that you give something without knowing what you will get in return.
- 28.You can see the truth and still be dishonest.
- 29.Watch, listen, and learn. Do not be fooled by appearances but rather be educated by experiences.
- 30.It is impossible for people who are untrustworthy to become trustworthy simply because you want them to be that way. Trust is a matter of character.
- 31.No matter who you are or what side of the fence you grew up on, right is better than wrong. Right is always superior to injustice.
- 32.Why would you allow others to become a self-appointed judge and jury of your life?